What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What are some mind-blowing facts that sound unreal but are actually true?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What are some cool confidence hacks?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What are mean nicknames to call my sister? She is always so mean to me.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What does a passable feminine crossdresser look like?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

If there is an abandoned house with no owner, can I live in it?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Make Nazis afraid again!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

TEXT:

How do I confess to my crush who had a traumatic past with his previous partner without losing the friendship?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

This email app is Gmail on steroids, and I can't recommend it enough - Android Police

At least until the peyote kicks in ...